. This is the souvenir program of the most recent production of . The Hamnet Players . All enquiries to sirrah@cg57.esnet.com . We have openings for stage managers & technical managers NOW _____________________________________________________________________________ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ . OFFICIAL SOUVENIR PROGRAM /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . The World Premiere of the irc-play "Pcbeth" . An IBM clone of Shakespeare's Scottish play . irc-play by Gayle Kidder "minou" Saturday, 23rd April 1994 [the Bard's 430th birthday] 17:00 GMT in the #hamnet auditorium ***************** STARRING *************** "Gazza" as Pcbeth --- from Bath, UK "Fem" as LadyM --- from Fairbanks, Alaska ****************************************** PRODUCTION/CAST LIST Who e-mail Where ------------------------------------------------------------------------ PRODUCTION El_Ingles sirrah@cg57.esnet.com SAN DIEGO STAGE MANAGER aurra aurra@netcom.com MICHIGAN TECH MANAGER rokinduck muni@andromeda.rutgers.edu NEWARK, NJ ASM zarquon paul.sweeney@brunel.ac.uk LONDON SET DESIGN zendar jimvs@cg57.esnet.com SAN DIEGO Pcbeth gazza g.hunt@ss1.bath.ac.uk BATH Banquo foosh foosh@netcom.com ? 1witch jewelie csc280@cent1.lancs.ac.uk LANCASTER 2witch kashka radianl@bimacs.cs.biu.ac.il TEL AVIV Lady_M ** fem fsmlc@acad2.alaska.edu FAIRBANKS King ** infonut jakeyes@bos1a.delphi.com GAUTIER, MS Porter rokinduck muni@andromeda.rutgers.edu NEWARK, NJ Mac (Macduff) snug goodwin@snug.demon.co.uk LONDON Malcolm valerie grey_v@ix.wcc.govt.nz ???????? Donalbain merp csc039@cent1.lancs.ac.uk LANCASTER Ross erdor karsai@unixg.ubc.ca VANCOUVER, CA Lady_R hidi dtraini@telerama.lm.com PITTSBURGH Doctor Dudester zdt4998@buddy.cs.rit.edu ROCHESTER, NY SCENE Bopeep cls9b@poe.acc.virginia.edu VIRGINIA _Enter clive ch@chills.demon.co.uk LONDON _Exit othernick alexande@cs.und.ac.za S. AFRICA ** Due to circumstances entirely beyond their control, fem and infonut did not in fact show up for this performance. Their roles were taken by talented and modest understudies. PROGRAM NOTES The Hamnet Players debuted the concept of Internet Theatre, a participatory performance art forum, in December 1993 with a production of "Hamnet," an 80-line version of "Hamlet," which was repeated in February of this year with Ian Taylor, of the Royal Shakespeare Company, in the title role. True to the concept of theatre, the production is presented in real time with live performers and audience, with all the opportunities for spontaneous genius and imminent disaster that entails. The debut performance of "Hamnet" was interrupted by a thunderstorm which cut the producers' online access; the play had to be restarted after the producers logged back on via Taiwan. The second performance was enlivened by a bot which accidentally killed Hamlet halfway through the production. Notwithstanding disaster, both productions were received with enthusiasm by participants and audience alike. Today the company boldly marches forward with a 160-line version of Macbeth, dedicated to the original author whose 430th birthday it is. The plot outline has been preserved, but the text has been mercilessly corrupted in keeping with the expected cultural level of the audience. Also, since we are convinced Shakespeare would never have used Apple hardware if he had known there was a choice, the play has been re-titled in IBM mode. ====================== THE CAST ================================ *** gazza *** Pcbeth [BATH, WEST ENGLAND] Believe it or not, Gazza will be playing Shakespeare's Scottish villain for real at the Bath festival this summer. He says that he regards his role in Pcbeth as valuable preparation, but we suspect that he is under some strange mis-apprehension that this is a paying job. He previously appeared as R_krantz in the irc Hamnet, and showed his complete professionalism by first identifying, then corrupting, the one critic in the audience. *** fem *** LadyM [ALASKA] fem logs in from Fairbanks, and is known on irc for her frosty wit. She created the role of Queen in "Hamnet" and drove the producer so crazy with her various pranks and tantrums that he swore at one time that she would never /join #lunch in irc again. How she comes to be appearing in another production, in the lead no less, is something of a mystery. *** snug *** Mac (duff) [LONDON] snug, like Gazza, has some real stage experience to compare irc theatre to. We believe that, also like Gazza, he is hoping that a check will arrive one day in payment for his services. On both grounds, we imagine that his disap- pointment will be so complete that he will not be seen on the irc stage ever again, so enjoy him while you can. *** valda *** Banquo [PEORIA, IL] valda, the vamp of #30plus, plays tennis and describes herself as "out," whatever that means. Her style as a raconteuse -- particularly of certain events in the baggage hall at O'Hare -- brought her to the attention of the producer as possible talent. We shall see. We somehow doubt that valda will stick to the script, but possibly her inventions will be better than the original. *** jewelie *** 1Witch [SE ENGLAND] Jewelie's audition consisted of coming into the channel and complaining that she was broke. Under the circumstances this was judged an adequate performance. The only other fact she vouchsafed was that she lives "near the Channel Tunnel" and we suppose she has a quick exit in mind. We welcome her and point out that it was her own idea to be a witch, not ours. *** kashka *** 2Witch [TEL AVIV] kashka is bound to be a hit in this production, because she has been practising her *cackle* all over irc ever since she received the dubious news that she had been given the role. Her excuse for not turning up for audition was something about the Israeli telephone company not working on the sabbath, and the producer thought this was so ingenious he was happy to put her in the show. *** Infonut *** King [GAUTIER, MISSISSIPPI] Infonut is living proof that there is life after Delphi. A user of Delphi by choice -- unlike certain other members of this cast -- Infonut shows that there truly is no accounting for taste. She states that she is nervous about this first appearance on the irc stage, but some of us believe that anyone who can handle Delphi's VAX/VMS client software can handle *anything*. Besides, she only has 2 lines, fer Chrissake. *** valerie *** Malcolm [NEW ZEALAND] Probably more Internet bandwidth has been wasted on valerie's flames than on any other single topic. Universally reviled on irc and the Usenet, she begged the producer for a small role in order to (perhaps) begin the process of rehab- ilitation. This wish was granted, with the strict admonition that she is to change costumes in her dressing-room *only*, not in the middle of the cast party as occurred after the second production of "Hamnet." Btw, if you believe she is really logging in from New Zealand you'll believe anything. *** merp *** Donalbain [LANCASTER, NORTH ENGLAND] We know almost nothing about merp except that his user@host bears a very strong similarity to jewelie's. Merp is the one who lurks on #gb and mutters about the impossibility of travelling down to London for the gigantic friday night pis... er, get-togethers, that the #gb crowd go in for. We know what he means. *** Fingwe *** Ross [VIENNA, AUSTRIA] A genuine irc personality and manager of perhaps the last surviving public irc client telnet site, Fingwe is welcomed back into this virtual theatre with open arms. His performance as the Queen in the second production of "Hamnet" was proof -- if proof were needed -- that "on the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog." *** HiDi *** LadyR [PITTSBURGH, PA] If HiDi has a fault at all it is that she takes this all too seriously. She actually showed up at the audition, for example, and did precisely as she was told. In other respects, however, we are glad to say she is as iconoclastic as the rest of the cast and we hope she has a brilliant future ahead of her. *** uros *** Doctor [LLUBLJANA, SLOVENIA] uros is so brilliant that it's a surprise that he's not President of Slovenia, the northernmost of the provinces that used to be called Yugoslavia. Come to think of it, perhaps he *is* President. It was uros who, on having the workings of irc theatre explained to him, remarked that he was perfectly capable of writing a bot-script that would perform the entire play. We did not find that particularly amusing, which is why he has such a minor role this time. *** BoPeep *** SCENE [CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA] BoPeep has been voted "most meticulous irc user" for five straight years. A typo has never been seen from her. By day she is a librarian at Virginia Uni, wears thick glasses and a tight bun, and delights in shushing people who want to party in her library. But at night, off come those glasses, down comes that hair, out comes her irc toolbox and WOW!!! LOOK OUT!!!! *** Clive *** _Enter [SE ENGLAND] No newbie, our Clive -- he's been at the irc game a long time and knows more about it than is good for most people. How, then, do we explain his elementary error in wandering into the Pcbeth auditions "just to have a look"? Any newbie could have predicted that he would instantly be forced into taking a role, which is of course exactly what happened. If he tries to escape we have pre- pared a novel command, the reverse of /KICK, which forces him back into the channel. Hehehehe. *** Othernick *** _Exit [DURBAN, SOUTH AFRICA] Othernick, a wit from #england and #gb (presumably he has not yet located a channel called #southaf) is best known for his plaintive net enquiry "Anyone got any ideas for my new nick?" We suspect he took the role of _Exit just to see how that nick suited him. Hmmm, it may be an appropriate one if next week's elections in South Africa go badly wrong. ========================= THE HAMNET PLAYERS =========================== *** El_Ingles *** Artistic Director [SAN DIEGO] El_Ingles jokes that he has had six careers but never actually had a job. However, this is not in fact a joke but the ghastly truth. irc theatre was one of his typically hare-brained ideas, driving other people crazy and creating no income whatever from endless hours of work. We must all hope somebody gives him a job one day. *** minou *** Playwright [SAN DIEGO] minou, a writer in RL, was the cyberturge for "Hamnet," the first irc theatre production. Not understanding really what that position required, she promoted herself to playwright for Pcbeth and is therefore the one your virtual rotten tomatoes should be thrown at if you do not find the script funny, interesting, or appropriate. If you want to be kind you can of course assume that minou's script was just fine but the actors ruined it. *** aurra *** Stage manager [HOLLAND, MI] When we started irc theatre we said we wanted to replicate as many aspects of theatrical production in cyberspace as possible. In one respect we have triumphantly succeeded -- the stage manager constantly threatens to resign. Be nice to aurra. She is your passport to comfort in this virtual auditorium. If she behaves strangely it's because she is simultaneously running six plays and four musicals on the real stage, in Michigan. *** rokinduck *** Manager, systems & bots [NEWARK, NJ] Rokinduck has the distinction of having given the most brilliant audition in irc theatre history. The task was to translate Shakespeare into irc jargon and he came up with this immortal line from Henry IV Pt1, Act I... /RED #north /EXEC import Hotspur He was immediately promoted to high office in the organization, played the King in "Hamnet", and abandoned a promising academic career in computer science to dedicate himself to theatre. *** zarquon *** ASM [LONDON -- well, close] As in the RL theatre, the ASM is here to be given all the shitty jobs and to take the blame for everybody else's failures and shortcomings. Zarquon has no known experience of theatre, and so we suspect that he has not yet found out the true nature of his job. Like snug, therefore, he will probably not be back once the penny drops. THE HAMNET PLAYERS ACKNOWLEDGE..... Electriciti................. Access services, San Diego Delphi...................... Promotional & other services The Shakespeare Pub......... Refreshments for the Producer Fem's hair by "Alaska-coif" Gazza's makeup by "Never-run panstix of Bristol" Valerie's bustier by "Bristols of La Jolla" ========================= THE SILLY ADVERT =========================== SUPPRESSED =================== THE IRRELEVANT RESTAURANT LIST =================== SUPPRESSED ========= THE INACCURATE "WHERE TO DINE AFTER THE SHOW" SECTION ====== SUPPRESSED ================= THE IRRITATING LIST OF RICH PATRONS ================= SUPPRESSED